Humor Corner

[Xularianne]

The perception caused by some bugs or glitches, that is presuming they are in fact bugs and not as designed.



1. Wolves in packs can slow or prevent heralds from using their powers.

2. You can only rest after you wait 5 minutes after a fight, the can not rest while in combat requirement is actually a in game joke on you the player.

3. Higher level humans can somehow run faster than horses and other four legged animals.

4. The city watchman and guards only pretend to do their job, they are in fact either statues or sleeping while standing up.

5. Faction allies are there in name only, you are actually the entire faction's force and all the figures and characters you see are figments of your imagination.

6. PVP is for level 80s only, because no one tries to enter games until they get to level 80. This is either caused by lack of information available to players or because, lower level pvp players would have more fun, get more items, and not feel cheated like they are more inclined to at higher levels where the differences in classes become greater and more likely outmatched. You also run the risks of playing one against 12 enemies because the system doesn't balance itself fairly, this is because you have more fun in hopeless situations.

7. Rough leather is a tier one material, not, we fooled you. Rough leather is actually a top tier rare material in disguise, this is why you can never get enough for what you need where you can for every other tier one material and even most upper tier and rare materials with far more frequency.

8. The feat tree gives you extra abilities, but the catch is, most are useless and only there to give you false hope. It is in reality a treasure hunt, where you have to spend in game money to constantly reset until you find the few powers, feats, and skills that are actually useful and effective.

9. All boss enemies are the exact level they are stated as, not. This is also a joke on you, some bosses are many levels above their stated tag level, such as the level 68 Lunn the Warmonger is actually a level 100 boss, which is why even a full team of 6 plus level 80 characters struggle with even the best gear.

10. The ballista can defeat the kraken at sea but only if you can slow down time by 10% since you can never be fast enough to finish him off even if you click every ballista in reasonable time, though if by some miracle you succeed, maybe you did figure out how to alter time, or are just super fast,or super lucky.

11. PVP mini games always have teams that know how to play like a team. In your dreams, this maybe true, in fact this is rarely the case and why many are left solo on solo or in random group on one matches most of the time in pvp mini games.

12. You are constantly offered the chance to side with the evil forces of Toth Amon, so you should join if you want a different game. Though you are offered and it is clearly implied you can play a evil faction single player story and quest line, you have no option what so ever to comply with that implied story line.

13. Enemies are really poor friends. Anytime you attack an enemy, even if you are less than about 10 feet away and in full view of other allied enemy forces, they ignore what is going on and let you kill their group's or factions units with out a care in the world.

14. Remarkably, some enemies carry items of a bizarre nature such as men carrying women's clothes or wolves carrying armor. It is amazing what enemy forces have on them. I wonder why and how they use these things that are other wise of no use or interest to that type of enemy. LOL

15. You can carry food but never seem to carry water and though you have food, it never stales despite how much time passes plus you can go with out food for months and months and never starve. Remarkable isn't it?

- See more at: http://kismet.guildlaunch.com/forums...53182#35338616

[sardanapal]

you understand this is a pixel game right?...you know a virtual world full of inventory packed wolves,wannabe ninja equipped skeletons and dildo-shaped buildings for virgins to call home?

[Xularianne]

Funny Things in Game: I do not know if these are intentional or meant to be funny, but these discrepancies make for some funny moments in the game. If they are not meant to be as such, then you may want to consider fixing them.


1. Valeria has a French accent. The world of Conan is roughly supposed to take place in the distant past before the Roman Empire, way before the French existed as the French or had that accent as we know it.

2. Crocodiles return rough leather. I do not know if you ever noticed but crocs and alligators do not have leather skins they have something harder and way tougher than simple leather hides. So how they have higher drops of rough leather than say cows or bison, is beyond reason and quite funny to those who are intelligent. This is doubly funny since on white sands there is a quest to get crocodile skins that also are NOT leather. So the game in fact, contradicts itself.

3. The two handed oar some classes start with for some reason sounds like a sword when unsheathed and swung. That is funny.

4. The starting slave clothes oddly looks better than most clothing or armor you get until about level 40.

5. You are always an escaped slave miraculously washing up on shore, yet no one tries to capture you they try to kill you. If you are indeed supposed to be a slave, shouldn't you be hunted and captured for reward? Sure you may arm yourself and be trying to kill them but then again, why did only one slaver from the ship also survive but run ahead instead of trying to secure you while you were unconscious on the beach shortly after the crash? It is not a bad story but it has a few plot holes and it is the only story possible. There should be a range of background options like other games.

6. Conan's guards are called the black dragon guard yet do not wear black but instead wear purple.

7. The guild bank, personal storage, and mail are accessible at the trader. If you amended the game, the guild bank would make more sense at a guild house, personal storage at player housing, and mail at player housing and post offices.

8. Guild cities in Aquilonia seem to have black dragon guards even though you are not in the guard yourself or committed to Conan yet.

9. Hyrkanian Horse Archers do not ride around trying to evade attacks like a real horse archer would nor do they engage in any group tactics or even use any thing such as the well known horse rider tactics such as the cambrian circle.

10. There are only a handful of npc looks even if the players have more customization options npcs all start to look alike after a while.

11. At times you are in combat no matter what you do with or with out a weapon sheathed and no amount of rest pressing ever seems to pull you out of imaginary combat.

12. Animals and players for some reason can not walk or step over the slightest inclines at times but walk up extreme inclines at other times or jump up them.

13. Players can get stuck on the most illogical stationary objects while trying to move. The player avatar inexplicably walks toward or closer to the object to ensure it gets stuck trying to walk around it.

14. Guild city guards never move, well save for the patrol units, but the gate or building guards do not. They do not even respond to hostile threats that near them or aid residents in trouble.

15. Some npcs in guild cities somehow manage to squat by structures 24/7 and not groan about the pain in their backs or legs.

16. Most npcs never say a thing or act as though they are alive. I know they are npcs but take some other and albeit older games that were so massive they were just like a mmorpg, which means more interactive and responsive npcs are possible. In Fallout 3 and Fallout New Vegas, most npcs well change direction, respond with one of a handful of lines if you try to talk to them, and even retire for the night at intervals which gives them the illusion they are at least more than just statues like most npcs in AOC are.

17. Animals like the crocodiles have a higher drop rate of leather, even though they shouldn't have leather but tough crocodile skin, than most other animals but are slower so easier to get from them but still harder than farming any other resource. Frustration zone warning!!

18. The breach looks nothing like a breach in any wall or city defenses. Yet is it called the breach and instead of all that it is filled with diseased animals, monsters, ghosts, and a subsect of Hyrkanians, but no Khitai defenders? If it were truly a breach, then why does it not even have a boundary line or any defenders protecting the so called breach?

19. No spider, giant or other wise, ever is seen on a spider web or walking vertically up or down any surface. HAHA

20. There are giant spiders but no giant flies for them to feed off of.

21. There are giant insects yet humans can still live on the same planet. Realistically if this were the case, the planet would have too much oxygen for any human to live on it and survive.

22. Ghosts can be KILLED!! What's more ghosts can die from melee combat and ordinary weapons and attacks.

23. Mounts vanish after you dismount them, yet when you mount them they usually trot up to your side so you can climb on. They are never seen when unmounted or not in the process of mounting. Perhaps they are ghosts.

24. Your avatar never starves or gets thirsty or needs sleep.

25. No ship ever moves save the one you take to Tortage at the start or the one you take to Khitai if you get that random method of traveling there.

26. No store ever sells anything of any use especially weapon stores and armor stores save a few that sells exceptional products like epic gear you find in Tarantia and Khitai factions.

27. No weapon or armor ever wears out.

Sometimes creatures that should be enemies seem to fight together against you.

Yes, but it is still funny.