Ahoy!
Dear Funcom,
I hereby offer my services for translating the next three Game Director's letters from English to German within three days time after receiving them via e-Mail.
In case your translating guys/gals are not happy with the results, I will pay you 100 € if a court certified German translator confirms the translation as being wrong or otherwise inacceptable.
Not required, but welcomed would be to put the money saved on translations into game development and customer service.
Khaletohep